April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Advocate Charitable Foundation and Aurora Health Care Foundation are supporting the healing journey of survivors by sharing their stories and raising critical funds for Aurora Healing & Advocacy Services.
Franny Delzer didn’t remember being sexually abused in her childhood by her father until she was an adult.
“I was honorably discharged from the military, dealing with major depression and had quit my job as a nurse in a psychiatric unit,” she explained. “I moved back to Milwaukee to live with my mom in my childhood home, where I started having flashbacks of what happened to me. I went so many years without remembering, so when it all came back to me, I was retraumatized as an adult.”
Franny sought psychiatric treatment to help process everything that was happening. That’s where she found out about Aurora Healing & Advocacy Services’ Healing Center, where survivors of sexual and domestic violence have access to a range of services including counseling, support groups and one-on-one guidance from survivor advocates. All services are provided at no cost to survivors thanks to philanthropy.
“The first person I spoke to at the Healing Center was an intern, and she was amazing. I remember thinking, ‘If an intern is this good, what’s a fully trained therapist here like?’”
Over several years, Franny participated in individual therapy and various group sessions, including an assertive boot camp, emotional support group and a processing group.
“I still use the skills I learned in those groups in my everyday life. I learned coping skills and how to regulate my emotions, process what happened and how to work through the shame, which was really hard for me,” she said. “But everyone at the Healing Center was so helpful, patient and compassionate, even when all I could do was cry.”
Franny’s favorite therapy was an improvisational theatre group led by a therapist and comedienne who is also a survivor.
“I learned to give and take, and that you have to listen in order to respond. It was a good experience in listening and being heard. And humor is healing. We even did a show to raise money for the Healing Center. I had terrible stage fright my whole life, but the experience was healing.”
In addition to therapy, Franny found a community at the Healing Center.
“I felt isolated before, but I quickly realized I wasn’t alone, and I wasn’t a freak or a loser. Unfortunately, there are a lot of women who have been through similar things,” said Franny. “Talking with survivors and sharing coping mechanisms helped me grow and slowly start to feel better.”
Healing through reiki
Another way Franny healed was through reiki, a Japanese technique for stress reduction and relaxation that also promotes healing. She learned about the practice at CORE El Centro, a non-profit organization in the Walker’s Point neighborhood that offers natural healing and wellness services in Spanish and English. The organization partners with the Healing Center to offer alternative therapies to survivors.
“Reiki creates a safe space to work on different parts of recovery. It provides a very loving and judgement-free environment, which is important for survivors. It’s a very holistic approach to healing.”
Inspired by the healing power of reiki, Franny became a reiki master and now owns her own business.
“Sessions are geared towards a client’s healing, and the client has control over what we work on. Control is important for survivors because they’ve had their control taken away from them,” she explained.
Hope Shining Blue
In 2018, Franny’s therapist, Aaron invited her to be a survivor model at Hope Shining Blue, an Aurora Health Care Foundation event that recognizes individuals who have demonstrated an outstanding commitment to the healing journey of survivors of domestic and sexual violence, as well as a one-of-kind fashion show featuring resilient survivors who have received free counseling and care at the Healing Center.
“Aaron was at Hope Shining Blue to support me and the other survivors. He saved my life; I have so much respect and admiration for the work he does. Therapists don’t always get acknowledged the way they should.”
Franny returned to Hope Shining Blue in 2023 as an alumni model. This year, she’s being honored with the annual Thrive Award, which was established in 2014 to recognize a sexual assault survivor who is healing and thriving in life, and whose work in the community benefits survivors and promotes awareness of sexual assault issues.
“I never expected to be nominated for this award,” she admitted. “Other Thrive recipients were so successful – they got married, went to grad school, had podcasts and wrote books. I was happy for them, but I didn’t understand how they could go from complete despair to being so successful in their careers and personal lives. But then it happened to me, so now I get it. I still have bad days, and I’m still recovering, but I’m doing a lot better.”
At this year’s event, Franny is looking forward to sharing more about herself and making a difference for other survivors.
“The first time I participated, I was too nervous to do more than superficially share my story. This time, I want to be more impactful to inspire people to donate to this cause, which is so important, especially now. I’m excited for the event – I know I’ll probably just cry the whole time I’m up there, but everyone there is so encouraging, loving and accepting. It’s the most amazing experience ever.”
You can help survivors like Franny heal and thrive. Join us at Hope Shining Blue or donate to support the Aurora Healing & Advocacy Services.