How can you build a legacy befitting of someone taken too soon? Ben Hartford may not yet have the perfect answer to that question, but he knows it starts with helping others – something his late wife, Darcie, who lost her battle with colon cancer two years ago, exemplified. That’s why he’s on a mission to keep the memory of his wife strong by touching as many cancer patients as possible with meaningful acts of kindness like the Hartford Family Foundation’s holiday gift drive.
Ben and Darcie’s life together began like a scene from a Hallmark movie. They fell in love while attending college at Indiana University, married shortly after moving to Milwaukee, started flourishing careers and welcomed daughter, Emma, and son, Caleb – making their family complete.
“When I met Darcie, I knew a life with her would be full of true happiness,” Ben says. “She was such an incredible mother to our children, always making sure that every memory was special for them. Darcie cared deeply about people, and was incredibly talented artistically and creatively.”
True to her nature, Darcie started a passion project called Red Bunny Designs, designing keepsakes like hair ties, bows, hats and children’s clothing.
“Darcie was able to complete every moment with simple and elegant touches,” says Ben. “The mission of the Red Bunny project was to provide essential supplies for young children, and that is the spirit that lives in me and our children today. It’s the spirit that we intend to carry on in her honor.”
But in the summer of 2019, everything changed. Darcie’s cancer diagnosis came as a complete surprise to the family.
“There was no evidence of family history related to colorectal cancer,” says Ben. “By the time symptoms were visible, she was already in stage 4 – a stage where the disease was considered incurable, and her treatment focused on making the rest of her time as comfortable as possible.”
Darcie received care from Dr. Scott Maul, a hematology/oncology physician, and the team at Aurora Cancer Center, part of Aurora Medical Center – Grafton.
“Dr. Maul was and is such an incredible physician for not only the value of his care but also his empathy. I appreciate his level of expertise and compassion so much during that incredibly difficult time that I would consider him a friend,” Ben says.
In March 2020, when the pandemic disrupted everyone’s lives, COVID restrictions were a blessing for the Hartford family.
“It forced a fundamental change in the way we managed our careers and our families, and allowed us to be together as a family in a way that wasn’t possible before COVID,” Ben says.
In April 2020, Darcie experienced a blockage and tumor growth and underwent surgery at the Aurora Cancer Center. She continued treatment over the next year, which gave the family more time to have her in their arms a little longer, but she ultimately passed in November 2021.
“After Darcie’s passing, we created the Hartford Family Foundation to help young families like mine with children affected by cancer,” Ben says. “Cancer is a such a disruptive disease, and my family is so extremely grateful for the car rides to school and sports practices and the many warm meals given to us by community members. We realize just how fortunate we are to have the support of our community and decided to give back in Darcie’s honor. Even though she didn’t ask for this to memorialize her life, I want Darcie’s spirit of loving families and giving back to live on.”
Last year, the Hartford Family Foundation spread joy to an oncology patient and their family at Aurora Grafton with special holiday gifts as they navigated their own cancer journey. This year, the foundation expanded the holiday cheer by hosting another gift drive granting Christmas wishes to five new oncology patients and their families, with Ben and Darcie’s children and members of their community getting in on the fun.
“I don’t want my children to be so fixated on the past and the tragedy,” Ben says. “Sometimes bad things happen to good people without explanation, and I want them to continue remembering their mother and think optimistically about their future and their actions for the good of people. The foundation’s gift drive helps me to guide our children in the manner that would honor Darcie – by helping others and being good stewards of the community.”
These forms of goodwill are all too familiar to Darcie’s oncologist, Dr. Scott Maul.
“The generosity from the Hartford Family Foundation goes beyond assistance to pay bills, holiday gifts or necessities like a winter coat. It’s also knowing that in a fractured world, people you've never met care about you – a living legacy of Darcie and how she inspired the community to come together with a gentle spirit and helping hands.”
Like Ben and his family, you too can make a special impact and help families coping with cancer.