In April 2015, Alpha Jean Gaede retired from her full-time job at the Tomah VA Medical Center. She was 85 years young. Her husband had passed away five years earlier, and she’d battled an aggressive form of cancer – twice.
“She was an amazing woman. She was a housekeeper in the secure behavioral health unit for over 50 years. It wasn’t an easy job,” explained her granddaughter, Melissa. “And the cancer treatment was difficult and painful, but she never complained.”
Melissa and her mother persuaded Alpha Jean to move to the Milwaukee area. As her only living relatives, they wanted to spend as much time with her as possible.
“Unfortunately, we didn’t know how bad her cancer was, and we set up in-home hospice care a few weeks after she moved here. After a few days, her pain got really bad, so we called Aurora Zilber Family Hospice.”
Melissa spoke with the late Dr. Bruce Wilson, a cardiologist, hospice care physician and death with dignity advocate at Aurora Zilber until he passed in 2018. Dr. Wilson impressed her with his quirky sense of humor – even during the most difficult time in her life.
“He had a crazy sense of humor, and in those situations, sometimes you need a little lightheartedness. I remember asking him how soon we could get Grandma into Zilber, and he said, ‘Well, people are dying to get in here,’” she laughed.
Alpha Jean was transferred to Aurora Zilber that same day. It was a Friday near the beginning of November.
“The staff was so gentle and kind. You never felt you were bothering them. The setting is just gorgeous, and the food was amazing.”
Melissa, who worked as a nurse for many years, was especially grateful for the attentiveness of the nurses.
“I knew Grandma couldn’t do things for herself anymore. We’d ring for the nurses, and they’d be there in a second,” she said. “They’re so receptive and could see when she was in pain just by the expression on her face. They anticipated our needs before we even had to ask.”
That weekend, Melissa’s mom had tickets to see the musical “Wicked” in downtown Milwaukee, but she didn’t want to leave Alpha Jean’s side. Dr. Wilson encouraged them to take a break and assured them Alpha Jean would be well cared for. In the end, Melissa went to the show with her boyfriend.
“I knew nothing about the story going in, so when I learned one of the main characters was Elphaba, or Elphie for short, it was the weirdest thing. My grandfather always called my grandma ‘Alphie.’”
When she heard the song, “For Good,” the lyrics brought her to tears.
“The song is about how people can change others ‘for good.’ There’s a line about how some people come into your life for a reason and make you a better person. For me, that person was my grandmother. So here I was in a huge theater surrounded by people and sobbing my heart out. People were giving me funny looks,” she recalled.
Just a few days after she was admitted to Aurora Zilber, Alpha Jean passed away.
“I had her hand in mine, and I watched as my hero went Home – peacefully and with dignity. And, for the first time in years, she was comfortable. Every part of her care was extraordinary.”
When someone passes at Aurora Zilber, the staff line the halls for a sendoff as the casket is wheeled to the hearse.
“It’s the most respectful and beautiful way someone can leave this world. They made it extremely special for us,” she shared.
Melissa was so grateful for the compassionate care that she and her family received at Aurora Zilber that she was moved to donate in Alpha Jean’s memory.
“I donate to the Butterfly Celebration of Life because the team at Zilber was there for us every step of the way. I also bought a memorial brick in the healing garden and inscribed it with ‘We’re changed for good.’ I’ll keep giving every year because I know that’s how my grandmother would want us to honor her memory.”
How you can help
Aurora Zilber Family Hospice is an extension of Aurora Home Health and Hospice, a leading provider of pediatric and adult hospice and home care in Wisconsin. We believe end-of-life care means living your remaining days in peace, dignity and respect in the company of your loved ones. Our programs and services are supported by the generosity of donors. Please consider supporting families like Melissa’s by making a gift today.