She tells her story to create change

She tells her story to create change

The first time Kat Klawes was sexually assaulted, she was only 8 years old.

“The biggest thing I remember is how it changed me as a person,” shared Kat. “As a child, I was outgoing and fearless. Afterwards, I became afraid. It happened outside, and I no longer wanted to go out and play with my friends.”

Kat told her mom what happened, and she called the police. Her attacker, a neighbor who was a minor at the time, eventually was sentenced to juvenile detention.

“He had assaulted two other young girls as well. And as an adult, he went to jail two or three times for sexual assault.”

Kat didn’t receive any counseling as a child.

“What was most damaging was that I grew up thinking I was ‘less than.’ I thought no one would ever love me or want me because of what happened to me,” she said.

As a teenager, her feelings of low self-worth only got worse.

“When I was 14, I was in a relationship with a 19-year-old who was sexually and physically abusive to me. When you don’t think you’re worth anything and someone comes along and tells you they love you, you put up with a lot. It made me continue to devalue myself and affected me for many years.”

Kat ended the relationship after two and a half years.

Finding her voice

Finding her voice

She went to college at Northern Michigan University (NMU). She was especially interested in legislative policy.

“I attended a conference my sophomore year, where I was assaulted by a stranger. I reported it to police right away. This time, I was an adult and I thought I could handle it and advocate for myself,” said Kat. “I went to the student counseling center and was eventually diagnosed with complex post-traumatic stress disorder.”

Then Kat received an email from the Dean of Students threatening to expel her if she continued to talk to her friends about her mental illness and what happened to her. It was school policy at the time.

“That completely destroyed me. I stopped talking to people and my grades dropped. But I had to do something, so I started a petition to revise the policy. That led to local media coverage and then a federal investigation that was covered by the national media. Over 100 students had received emails like mine. Some were actually expelled.”

In 2018, the Department of Justice finished its investigation and sanctioned NMU for its policies. NMU agreed to make significant changes to its policies, train its faculty and staff, and pay $173,500 in damages to four students who had alleged discrimination on the basis of mental health disabilities. NMU was also required to develop a training program that addresses mental health.

“I got a settlement, but I had to fight for that. I still have received no apology for trying to silence me when I needed my friends and my voice the most,” she shared. “So, I started talking about it more. I realized I wasn’t alone and that there were other schools that had similar policies. I wrote my own legislative bill in Michigan to create more oversight at colleges so that harm cannot continue to be perpetuated against survivors.”

Kat worked on issues of policy and with other sexual assault survivors in Michigan, notably Larry Nassar/Michigan State University survivors. In 2019, Kat moved back to Milwaukee.

“The first thing I realized was that I had been taking care of others but not myself. I was telling my story all the time and talking to other survivors, but I wasn’t okay. I had a lot of healing to do.”

Kat was familiar with the Aurora Healing Center because of her advocacy and survivorship work. She was paired with a counselor and finally got the help she needed.

“I’d been hurt so many times that I could never fully rest. The Healing Center helped me find stability and trust,” she said. “I’m now in a healthy relationship with my partner, and I don’t think I’d have that if I hadn’t gotten help and counseling.”

She still attends sessions at the Healing Center today.

“Trauma still impacts me. The Healing Center helped me examine my feelings of being a survivor. I don’t think I’d be where I am today without it. Their services and counselors are so valuable. They show survivors like me that there’s hope for a better tomorrow.”

Kat is now pursuing a masters degree in educational policy. She plans to continue to use her voice to advocate for survivors and impact legislative change. Kat runs a grassroots advocacy program that does advocacy work related to mental health, diversity, disability rights, and sexual assault survivor empowerment.

“Telling my story and talking to others who have had similar experiences is powerful, and it’s helped me with my healing journey,” she explained. “I’m so grateful to the Healing Center for helping me heal and thrive so I can make a difference. I’m also grateful for all they do to support other survivors like myself.”

How you can help

Kat is the 2022 Hope Shining Blue Thrive Award Honoree. Hope Shining Blue is a celebratory event that honors survivors of sexual and domestic violence and raises critical funds to support survivors in times of crisis. Learn more and register here.

You can also help survivors like Kat by making a gift to support Aurora Healing & Advocacy Services, which provides healing services for survivors of sexual and domestic violence from the point of crisis through lifelong recovery. To ensure access and privacy for all survivors in our community, services are provided at no cost and are only possible because of the generosity of donors like you.